SSBB TOD THE ONE BILLIONTH!
by Cypher333
Summary: One completely random day, Master Hand takes the Smashers, the Assist Trophies, Latios, and Latias; to an old, supposedly historic 100 floor warehouse. What is waiting for them within?
1. Chapter 1

A.N. So, I finally have a fanfiction account! (happy dance) Okay, I know there are tons of these, but the opportunity was just too good too pass up. Inspirations: Zeldafan( I can't remember your whole username, but your character was Zea with Kite and Arynne as cohosts), Shadowwolf2.X(Hi if you're reading this, Aly!), and MetaGiga( I'm not calling you Giga, don't worry). Blah, blah, blah, I don't own Nintendo, Konami, Sega, the SSB series, or anything else that might pop up, kay? But I do own Cypher, Callirh, Roko, Ruby, Poisanis, Blacken, White(not the one from Pokemon! Completely accidental!), Black(Same here), Graison, Esmerelda, Geord, Opal, Darmast, and Hao. Just saying.

There once was a hundred-story warehouse. A group of… things and people, led by Master Hand, decided to go to the top for absolutely no reason whatsoever(or so M.H. said). This group was the Smashers, who also dragged along the Assist Trophies from (A.N. Get ready for a new place) the Smash CASTLE. They were met by a tour guide, who did not give his name. BUT, he was in on Master Hand's plan. He took them to the warehouse, and led them all inside. He winked to M.H. and they went in. A steel gate fell over the wooden door.

Script Format

Marth: What's going on?

Tour Guide: Yes! Most of it worked! *BANG* And that would be Crazy Hand. *lets him in*

Crazy: EOWAFJDSALDSAJFSAGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Peach: Who are you? *gets shot*

Tour Guide: My name is Cypher, and this is…as if the internet didn't already have enough, which it actually doesn't…a TOD! I am the author, so have fun! By the way, you can't escape. :P Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some for all of you.

All smashers, Assist trophies, and Melee rejects(except Peach because she's dead):NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cypher: Oh, quit whining, there's a prize on the hundredth floor, and we'll only get there if you do the truths and dares.

Dares

Wario: Go train SmileDog. If you do it, you lose garlic for a day. If you fail, it eats all of your garlic and money. Roy: Stick the Sword of Seals(your fire sword) in a plugged-in toaster.

Mewtwo: Use both of your Mega Evolutions at the same time and fight Mega Lucario. Pichu: Take Pikachu's place in the generator on the IOTA(Isle of the Ancients).

Dr. Mario: Give Crazy Hand a gallon's worth of steroids.

Peach: BURN ALL OF YOUR FANCY CLOTHES!

Zelda: Din's Fire Roy.

MGW: Give Peach a papercut and a haircut.

Kat: Trade your katana for Y.L.'s Kokiri Sword. Young Link: Trade the Kokiri Sword for Kat's katana. Ana: Trade your katana for the Toon Master Sword. Toon Link: Trade the Toon Master Sword for Ana's katana. YL, TL, Kat, and Ana: Go on a rampage with your new weapons.

Truths

Link: HYAA! HRAA! SHAAA! YAHHH! What did I just say?

Peach: Do you really like Mario?

Ganondorf: When's the wedding with Nabooru?(Note: If a character from an outside game is brought in, they can be dared for one[1] chapter.)

Wario: GYAHH! THAT THING'S CREEPY! *gets eaten*

Cypher: Yay, he's gone!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

Roy: AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh… *Team Rocket twinkle as he flies away.

Cypher: Great, he destroyed it! But wait… I have author powers! *warehouse is magically fixed*

Mewtwo: GRAAHHHHHHHHH! *becomes the A.B.O.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N.* Lucario: ROAAWWW! *becomes Mega Lucario* *They trade attacks until finally, A.B.O.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N. gets a smash ball. M. Lucario does too. Mewtwo sends a earth-shattering psybeam while M. Lucario lets loose a destructive Aura Blast. The attacks collide and form the equivalent of the world being one big nuke.*

Cypher: WOW! They destroyed the Earth! *is floating inside a huge shield that Marth somehow managed to get in*

Marth: Fix the world. *The hands' bodies go floating by*

Cypher: FINE! *Everything's back to normal.*

Pichu: PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) *gets taken to I. O. T. A.*

Dr. Mario: He'll kill us all!

Cypher: Don't do it and I'll wring out your neck, stuff you in a barrel of toxic waste, kill Nurse Peach, and feed you to Dora, Barney, and ELMO! And then I'll give him steroids anyway.

Dr. Mario: FINE! *Gives Crazy the steroids*

Crazy: FREE HUGS! HFDHGJKHGJAEUGSHFGWEYHRJGHUHGWEJHGJEHRUHGERAHGJAEHJKGHEASYHUGWEHRUHGEURHGUERHUGEHRUG  
HERJHGELRHGELHRUGEHSHGEUHRUKGEHWURHGEJKSHGUAWEYUGEHRUHEILHITLERGHUWEHRGHWEURHGUWHRGUWEHRGHRWGWEU  
RHGUERGUEHRUWHGLEWURILHGHEWOGHERWPOGHJRHGUISEHRFGGBHGBYHYTHJKHJEGHEJHGJKWEHR! *explodes*

Cypher: Blood! *revives Crazy* Are you feeling okay?

Crazy: mUsT gEt CaNdY.

Cypher: I'll take that as a yes.

MGW: BEEEEP! *cuts Peach's hair and gives papercut*

Peach: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! FIRST MY CLOTHES AND NOW MY HAIR?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH*shot again*

CypherKat, YL, Ana, and TL?

All: Okay! *trade swords*

Cypher: Now, KILL!

Kat: ATTACK! *They attack everyone*

Cypher: Okay, that's enough. *wipes their memory*

Ana: GIVE ME BACK KATANA! ToT

Link: I'm useless? Cypher: Correct!

Peach: Errmmm…yes? Lie Detector: BZRRT! LIE! LIE! LIE! LIE!

Cypher: Pulling a page out of Pikana's book! *cuts out Peach's eyes and stabs her with a diamond-tipped chainsaw*

Ganondorf and Nabooru: WE ARE NOT AN ITEM!

Cypher: Okay, sheesh!

Link: They're sort of touchy about that sort of thing.

Cypher: I can tell! Okay, everyone in the elevator and don't forget to review, because it's time to go up to… FLOOR 2!


	2. Sorry

Sorry.

I almost had chapter 2 done, but now I have to change it out of script format:/

Hopefully I can update soon!

Cypher333


	3. Chapter 2

****Sorry, sorry, sorry! I was waiting for another review but I never got one, got grounded for the remainder of school in the middle of April, and then was just plain lazy. As usual, us authors don't (Oh hey, Google docs has a smiley menu! :-$ B-) ✳✖❇▶↔©®↗↔↖:-P ) own anything but our OC's (and I also unhappily own my possible OCD.)****

****EDIT: I also had to go back through and change script format to third person.****

**The elevator door opened. Then 40 or so starved-looking people and things stepped out. **

**"****Ugh, I hate it when the elevator gets stuck," said Cypher.**

**All of the other people, things, and robots either drop dead or explode. 11 new people and robots step out of a recently created portal.**

**"****Hello, Lucina, Robin, Pac-Man, Palutena, random Mii, Greninja, Little Mac, Rosalina-oh hi, Luma-, Villager, Mega Man, and Wii Fit Trainer," Cypher said before reviving the other smashers with author powers and letting them all eat.**

**albinounicorn**

**_gannon and cap falc: fight goku and vegeta_**

**_zelda: bang link_**

**_luigi: go weegee and fight chuck Norris_**

**_godzilla vs giga bowser_**

**_HAVE FUUUUUNNNN_**

**"****Okay, albinounicorn? I said to keep it clean, so we can't have dare 2. Sorry," Cypher mentioned.**

**Suddenly, Goku and Vegeta appear, knowing what must be done.**

**"****Show me your moves!" Captain Falcon hollered before being mauled by Goku.**

**Ganondorf then yelled,"Bring it on!"**

**Vegeta ran up to him and Ganondorf explodonated.**

**Goku then coldly said," Our work is done," before both he and Vegeta were teleported away.**

****AN. I don't know much about Dragonball or whatever it is they're from except for over 9,000; so yeah. By the way, please, PLEASE, don't send any info about it. I really don't care overmuch about DB.****

**"****Luigi, transform," Cypher commands.**

**Luigi stutters while nervously saying, "I-I don't think I should do it." He is then shot.**

**Cypher revives Luigi and states," Thank you, Snake. Now, Luigi? Do. It. NOW!"**

**Luigi, too scared to speak, transforms. Chuck Norris appears and ,before Weegee can attack, he roundhouse kicks Weegee in the face, shattering the abomination. Norris then teleports away.**

**"****Well then, that was exciting," said Marth. He then says," Now, if Cypher will do the honors?**

**"****Gladly," Cypher states.**

**Godzilla appears and Bowser transformed into Giga Bowser. GB tries to sit on Godzilla, but it shoots a ball of energy and blasts him through a hall. He then picks GB up and rips off his head before being teleported to Japan to kill people.**

**The feast room starts shaking. Suddenly, a wall is destroyed and a navy blue figure floats in.**

**The figure states,"So, my cousin, you are trying to have fun? Well, my affiliates and I have set up some challenges for them to do, to crash the party..**

****AN. The challenges are pretty much dares that are sent when there are three or less reviews.****

**_C1: Marth must defeat 10 kirbies with one Aether and then insult Ike and not get hurt for five minutes._**

**_C2: Ike must do the same except insulting Marth and Great Aether-ing 20 King DDDs._**

**_C3: Olimar must carry Fox back to the Ship and not lose a single pikmin._**

**_C4: Snake must blow Samus up with C4. If he is caught, Samus will kill him ten times._**

**_C5: Meta Knight must take his spare masks, carve them into shurikens, and kill Wario, Peach, and MGW(Mr. Game and Watch.)_**

**_Good luck._**

**Cypher yells,"Callirhh, quit it! Get out of here, evil one!"**

**Callirhh cooly replies,"I guess I will." He then leaves.**

**Marth rushed up and sliced kirby into ten pieces, which all became seperate kirbies. While they are dazed, he Aethered them all. He then tells Ike," You're so slow you couldn't beat a slug in a race even if the prize was twenty boxes of fried chicken." Ike then chases **

**Marth for a full minute before giving up. Marth stayed away from him and won a cookie.**

**Ike gathered the entire Dedede family and killed them all with Great Aether. He then called Marth a horrid swords****_woman_****. This earned him a decapitation with the tiara that Marth wears that used to belong to his sister. For this, he received some cake.**

**Olimar threw 100 purple Pikmin, and they picked up the chair Fox was sitting on. One of them tripped, and was squashed. It was then unbalanced, and the chair squashed them alll. More pikmin ran up to the chair and threw it and Fox down the elevator shaft. Olimar's helmet shattered because he failed his challenge. The oxygen and the shards killed him.**

**Snake made some spaghetti, stuck C4 in it, and handed it to Samus. Before throwing it in his face, she said, "Go away, creepy guy! I ****_HATE_****you!" The C4 killed Snake and Samus got a card that said "Kill Snake 10 times!" She immediately used it. **

****A.N.: Snake died once. He will die again at the beginning of the next nine chapters.****

**Meta Knight(MK) took 3 spare masks. He unsheathed the Galaxia Sword and sliced the masks. He then sliced Peach's, Wario's, and C.F. heads off in approximately 0.00000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds. **

****A.N.: I really hate those three, can't you tell?****

**"****That wraps it up," Cypher declared,"so lets get in the elevator and go to… Floor 3!"**

****I'll probably get my own laptop around Black Friday, so slow updates until then. Byeeee!****

********Cypher333****


	4. Chapter 3

CCUChapter 3: In which my internet fails and we can't do a dare.

**Wow, so this is what's called a fast update! It probably won't last, though.**

"Well, that was a short ride compared to last time," Cypher said. "Oh, hey, there's a bleeper that works for five floors. Bleeper on. ***! It works!"

Marth indignantly yells, " It was still a day, possibly two! This thing is making me lose track of time!"

Ness annoyingly says, "Can we just get on with it and ignore Marth's rant?"

This, of course, earned him a slap.

"First reviewer," Cypher said, ignoring the fight between Ness and Marth.

Albinounicorn chapter 3 . 10h ago

Nice!

Ok now,

Wario: Try to be sneaky and sneak into snakes weapon armory

Greninja: fight charizard

Sonic: YOURE TOO SLOW!

Master hand: *hands him an extremely spiked red bull* See if you go as crazy as crazy

"Thanks! Oh, we can do them all!" Cypher yelled, clearly excited.

Wario ran inside Snake's weapon storage, conveniently sitting right there. He picked up all of the weapons and ran away. He then tried to steal the boxes. Naturally, Snake was right there to beat him up.

Cypher is about to say something, but he realized that he was being too hyper, and stayed silent. Greninja quickly Water Shurikened Charizard before it could do anything, defeating it.

Sonic started crying and wailed,"I'M NOT TOO SLOW!'

Everyone else then chants,"You're too slow, you're too fat, you're just like a big fat rat!". They continue on until Sonic commits suicide.

Master Hand drank the spiked Red Bull. Instead of going nuts, he spazzed for a while before exploding into glitter.

"That escalated quickly," Lucas stated. "However, he was not as crazy as Crazy Hand, sadly."

"We have another set of dares, so here they are!" Cypher said.

GingerGuest111 chapter 3 . 1h ago

Hello! I has some truths and dares!

MGW: Fight Paper Mario for the crown of 2D-ness.

Everyone: Watch the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. And fill out your roles accordingly. (PS. Since MK is Batman, grab Batgirl (Daisy) and Robin (Toon Link) and go fight the Joker (Crazy Hand))

King Dedede, Bowser, Ganondorf: You do know that all of you can't rule the universe, right? How do you live with the competition?

Please update soon!

"We can't do dare 2 because YouTube isn't working, but they're all really good!" Cypher happily said.

Paper Mario suddenly appeared, and attacked MGW.

A.N. Paper Mario (TTYD) is now available for dares until Chapter 5!

The two figures bonk hammers before Paper Mario rolls into a tube and trips MGW before using GARNET STAR: SHOWSTOPPER and decimating MGW.

"The winner is Paper Mario!" Master Hand announced.

King Dedede, Bowser, and Ganondorf all say at the same time, "We don't.". Then they beat up Zero, Grodus, and Demise respectively.

Suddenly, a little hummingbird holding a letter flew in a window. It gave Cypher the letter. " Oh, Esmerelda sent some challenges for us."

Cypher,

I hope I'm not butting in, but I have some challenges for everyone.

Challenge 1: Zelda, Light arrow everyone who you think is gross.

Challenge 2: Peach, leap into a giant Pitcher Plant.

Challenge 3: Samus, explode Snake and Captain Falcon.

I hope you can do these!

Esmerelda

Zelda immediately shot Wario, Snake, and Captain Falcon. Wario knocked Peach into the pitcher plant, while Snake and Captain Falcon fell onto some power bombs placed by Samus.

"Everyone on the elevator! We need to get to Floor 3! I don't want to starve to death!"

A.N. If you guess who said that, you get to send in either an OC, Callirhh, or Esmerelda to Co-host! Hint: The character was featured in the beginning of the chapter.

Byeeeeee!

[^°•¢√^π√¥√÷¥√€√•√×√√÷€¥¢•¢√^€¥©=®^¥®=°^=®√€π×™°®√=€√¥^€√=√÷€¥€√÷€√=®^=^®^®^√€√π¥]

Cypher333


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